The Inbetween Years
by slow as christmas
Summary: The trials of becoming Master and Padawan. Will be rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

He was upset, angry - clear disdain vibrated across the bond he shared with his Master. He knew it did, and the passing glances those brown eyes gave him made him even more frustrated and angry. The fact that his master had not even given a second thought to him, it made him irate.

It was like an itch under his skin. A betrayal of the highest. He was supposed to lean on his Master, to trust his Master and that man had stabbed him in the back. In front of the entire council! It was as though his Master was telling the council he was nothing more than rubbish to be cast aside.

Something 'better' had come along.

He looked at the boy standing beside _his _master and wished they'd never gone to Tatooine. Qui-Gon was openly ignoring him, shoving him off as his apprentice just to take this boy under his wing. He had just said last week that he wasn't ready to be a Knight and now... all because of the boy.

The feeling of pure hatred welled up in him, and those brown eyes looked at him again, a soothing comfort attempted to reach across their damaged bond.

Obi-Wan refused it with an angry push of his force signature. Why would his Master care now, if had ever cared that is. He found himself wishing he could have stayed with Master Yoda or picked by Master Windu even.

Pain etched in his heart as he remembered the sheer joy the day he had been picked by Master Jinn. He had been floating on air, so proud that he'd impressed him and that the great Jedi had seen potential in him. He had worked so hard to garner respect from his Master.

But at the moment, all he found that he could do was wish he'd never been picked.

"Padawan," the gentle voice of his Master nearly made him crumble and the warm hand on his shoulder made him shiver, "we need to speak."

"No. We don't, Master. You made yourself quite clear earlier." He shoved the offending hand off and walked brusquely towards one of the ships. He didn't want comfort right now, he merely wanted to forget the meeting had even happened.

He could feel the confusion, the sadness seep from his master and toward him. But he didn't care, because beneath it all there was the boy's wellbeing above all else.

Pathetic little boy. Obi-Wan glared at Anakin, the chosen one. Chosen above all else, even his own Master was ready to cast him aside. The boy couldn't do anything that his normal age group could, it would be an uphill battle. It would mean ridicule for his Master, it would mean something else for the council to frown upon.

Obi-wan watched as Master Jinn smiled at Anakin, laughed with him, taught him as he would his own child. He could nearly feel the Master and Padawan bond growing cold with each passing moment.

Perhaps, he was to blame as well. Maybe he had not been the Padawan his master had wanted, they clashed so severely at times.

He was a near failure at the living force, something his Master was renowned to be an expert in. He had tried his hardest, and yet the living force evaded him each and every test.

But everyone had their weaknesses, even the most experienced of Jedi. His master should know this well. It couldn't be his fault. It had to...the boy. Again. Everything was that insufferable little whelps fault.

He felt the hate well inside him and he realized he needed to meditate before things became worse. He needed time for the force to comfort him, since his own Master was not willing. He would not be drawn into the seductive lure of the dark side because of that little grievous life form.

The Padawan found a quiet spot on the ship as Queen Amidala spoke to his Master of her plans. She was not one to sit idly by and he admired her for that. Most rulers would never think so highly of their people as to walk into a known war torn planet.

Obi-Wan sat with his legs crossed, back rested on one of the cold walls as he opened himself to the force. He leaned on it, drawing comfort and peace from it's warmth. The only place he could fully let himself feel.

It was home.

He swirled in the force, gaining pleasure and peace from the ebb and flow swallowing him. But soon he noticed something was amiss. Something was unsettled in the force, like an insect buzzing around an ear. One could hear it, but not pinpoint it.

Then he found it.

A soft, small force signature seemed to crawl around him, but not near him, as though feeling him out. Curiously, it poked at his mind and he twitched his eye in loss of concentration. The signature wasn't dangerous. It didn't mean harm, it was just wondering about this other one.

The signature seemed to poke at him again and the uncertainty didn't go unnoticed. Instantly, Obi-Wan knew that it belonged to the young Skywalker. It radiated fear. Fear of being turned into a slave again, fear of losing his mother, fear of becoming a Jedi, fear of the restrictions of a Jedi, fear of dying, fear of losing Qui-Gon. So much fear.

Brown eyes slowly opened to see the young boy asleep on the opposite seating area and the Padawan sighed lowly. That boy that he hated so much, needed his Master Jinn. Any other master would not understand him.

If the Jedi didn't take him, didn't accept Anakin as a pupil, he had no future. And that above all else rang clearly over the other fears. Alone. Away from his mother, without the possibility of one day freeing his mother. So much responsibility already weighed on the little boys mind that Obi-Wan felt guilt gnaw at him.

He had been jealous of this? Of the pain this boy was now suffering? Of the uncertainty of his future?

Obi-Wan stood, walking to where the boy slept, and placed a calloused hand gently on his forehead. He infused a stream of force into his hand, quelling the nightmares that coursed through the small child. He whispered, "no need to worry. You're in good hands now."

His Master glanced at him while not faltering in his comments to the young queen. He felt the curiosity of the Jedi master across their bond, the soft approval and then the unmistakable feeling of admiration. Love was the only word to describe it.

The Padawan ducked away from his master, still feeling slightly bitter and yet reveling in the feeling. A blush came to his cheeks unknowingly and then he felt the sudden thrill that vibrated along the bond. He swirled around to face his master.

Qui-Gon nodded at Padme before chancing a glance at his pupil and there was something hidden in those eyes, something that he'd never seen before.


	2. Chapter 2

When they landed, he knew he had to tell his Master that he understood. Padme was talking of war, and with war there came risks. He couldn't let his Master go into this thinking he was still angry with him or that he held resent me toward him.

He knew the bond he had with his Master did a lot of the telling, but he needed to speak it. He needed to make sure. With the war, with a battle, there came so many risks. Especially if they ran into the Sith again, the force could surprise them in ways that hurt.

He had but a few moments to let his Master know without letting those around him know. This was something between master and padawan only. He lavished their bond with every emotion of acceptance he could find in his body. When Qui-gon let a warm hand linger on his shoulder, he knew the man considered him worthy.

In Master Jinn's eyes, he was no longer a Padawan. He was a brother, a fellow Jedi. Someone he could trust with more than just his life. There was still so much he needed to learn from the man. He would watch him, just as he had told the boy from Tatooine to do.

So he followed behind the older Jedi, watching ardently, learning his steps all over again as they entered the city.

As Master Jinn spoke to Anakin, quelling his fears and yet didn't turn to look back at his Padawan; Obi-Wan knew. He knew that his Master _trusted_ him, thought him capable of watching his blind spot. He vowed, in that moment, of watching the brown cloak swish around his Master - that he would protect him. That there would never be a need for the Jedi to look back, because Obi-Wan would always be there to protect him.

Obi-Wan stuck to his Master like sap as they moved through the barrage of guns and blasters. Now only was he in charge of keeping the young queen safe, but his Master. The man would rush into the battle, and he would deflect the shots.

He felt approval radiate through the bond, felt the appreciation after ever hit. Master Jinn was silently praising him and he knew he was growing in that single battle by leaps and bounds. By the end of their mission, he would certainly be given Knighthood.

A pang of regret stung him in the back of his thoughts as his body moved on auto pilot. He wasn't sure he wanted to be free of his Master.

A hand held itself up as they walked toward the doorway, "Anakin, stay." Obi-wan knew the command in his voice, it was not one to be argued with.

The Padawan couldn't stop the moment of pride at being able to walk beside his master into battle, but it was soon squashed with the red faced Sith that appeared in the doorway. This fight, he would protect the man that had given him trust. He wouldn't let him down. It was his chance to prove to his Master how much he loved the only father figure he had known.

The fight was intense, more than he had anticipated. They dodged and he watched his Master, the way he was clearly superior to them both. It was plainly clear the only way the Sith would win would be a will of the force alone.

He was flung front the platform, hissing as he landed and was unable to bring himself up. This was wasted time. He needed to be by his Master, helping him. He could see the fight but couldn't focus on anything other than freeing himself to help. A jump, another hiss and he grabbed his light saber, running and twirling to the battle that played on ahead of him.

His legs... they just...just weren't strong enough. He pumped them, he pushed them until they hurt, he willed the force to move him faster but it just wasn't what he needed. He cursed them silently, seeing panic and feeling his Masters calmness through the bond.

He saw his Master stop, the two glaring at each other through the barrier. Master Jinn took the moment to rest and he could do nothing but pace, wishing above all else that he could somehow find a way to be there for him. He could see that strong back heave with exertion, that back that he would watch and protect for as long as he was alive.

Faster, faster! He needed to go faster! The shields would be up again and he needed to be there with his Master! He needed to show him he'd be there for him. The whir, the click, the sizzle of the barriers returning. He skid to a stop, cursing the barrier for all it was worth, his mind whirring with ways to get to Master Jinn.

He could see the falter in his Master's steps, could see the exhaustion tugging at him. Obi-wan saw the frown on his lips as the Master Jedi knew he was wavering. There was one glance at his Padawan, one single sorrow-filled emotion stinging their bond before the red light saber pierced him.

Obi-Wan's mind screamed and his body followed with it's own cry. The bond grew quiet, a slow trickle compared to what it had been just a few moments earlier. Anger filled eyes now turned to the Sith that prowled the barrier like a lion awaiting it's prey. Obi-Wan knew then, he would not lose. The barrier began to sizzle and he readied his stance.

He would avenge his beloved Master.

When the barrier lifted, he moved without thinking. Lunging, dodging, striking. Every lesson Master Jinn had ever taught him replayed quickly in his mind. The living force, the midnight training sessions, the surprise attacks in mid-dawn, all pushed his muscles to their brink. When he lost his light saber and fell, skidding along the side of the drop, he refused to fall. He refused to let this be the end of him, of his Masters Ideals.

His master... he saw the light saber, Master Jinn's light saber. With that, he would live on. With a silent plea to the force, he launched himself into the air, hoping his cry did not go unheeded. When the cold of the handle hit his palm, he did not think, he acted. Just as he had been told so many times.

He heard the sizzle, felt the slight resistance to his arm, and pushed further still, anger unwilling to let the Sith live. The look of confusion crossed the Sith's face before it fell and Obi-Wan felt the force around him spark in approval.

Instantly he was by his Master. He could save him, couldn't he? His master ...couldn't die! He was too strong, he was so strong in the living force there must have been something...

"Obi-Wan, promise me...promise you'll train him."

Without thinking, he agreed. He would have done anything for the man just then. If he had asked for his life in return, he would have given it to him without so much as a blink.

Even after the last breath and the hand had lost its grip, he held to his Master. He felt their bond go suddenly quiet. Pain struck him in a powerful wave, his chest clenched and it became hard to breath. Tears fell freely as he mourned the man that had taught him more than any other Jedi ever could have.

He shivered as he knelt over the body of his beloved Master. It was so cold, so lonely without his Masters emotions falling over the bond. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how much the man had become a part of him. How he had clung to him and his defiant ways. The sobs wracked his body, even as the barriers sizzled.

He was unsure of the time when he finally stopped. He had failed his Master, but he wouldn't leave his body to be moved by someone who didn't know the man. With a heave, he stood and flipped the lifeless body onto his back. This was his burden, and his alone.


End file.
